A few hours ago I had a craving for beer. This one for some reason was really bad. I called the main office of AA just because I haven't met any other alcoholics that I feel comfortable enough calling on the phone. The man that answered was less than helpful. When I asked if the craving goes away after a while, like when you quit smoking the cravings subside and usually disappear, he responded with "yes, you can smoke while you're at our meeting". English wasn't his first language. I eventually got a meeting location and time from him before he hung up. I had more questions!
It left me more frustrated and craving a beer more than ever.
My craving and my logic kept arguing.
Craving: You're only human. We all slip. No one will judge you if you drink tonight. No one judged you when you only quit smoking for two days.
Logic: Yeah, well I don't want to go through withdrawal again.
Craving: What about all of those alcoholics that died after quitting cold turkey? Do you want to die? It's better to wean yourself off of it. Go buy some beer and just have a few. It'll make the withdrawal better.
Logic: I've already been sober for over three days. If that were true, I would have already died. And besides look at how much I've accomplished today. I cleaned most of the apartment, normally it takes me two days just to clean half of one room.
Craving: Well you deserve a treat. Go buy yourself some beer. Celebrate. You've worked hard, you earned it.
Logic: Okay. And I went out and bought some non-alcoholic beer.
Craving: Strangely silent for once.
I wasn't sure if it would be a good idea or a bad one to buy near beer. On one hand, it would be nice to have a cold beer with no consequences but on the other it might make me want real beer so badly I would give into the craving. So far, I've had one beer and then I was no longer thirsty. I think I'm going to start using near beer as a quitting aid.
No comments:
Post a Comment