Guilt

The guilt is eating me alive right now and I don't even know why.  What have I done that I should feel guilty about?  Is it justified guilt, or unjustified?  I've meditated, apologised to those I've wronged recently, forgiven myself for falling off the wagon and I still feel this pit in my stomach.  I'm at a loss.  I don't know what to do to make it go away.  Why do I feel things so intentensly?  Whenever I have an emotion, it's always over the top...happiness - I'm so happy and hyper that people think I'm on drugs, depression - I won't get out of bed, sadness - I won't stop crying.  I just want to feel emotions in the normal range that everyone else feels them.  Usually writing about my feelings helps me.  It hasn't.  I feel guilty.  AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!  It's starting to make me angry at myself.  It makes me want to drink, to do something to lessen this emotion or take my mind off it.  I'm jittery.  I don't like this at all.  Please, Universe help me with this guilt that I'm feeling.  Take it away.  I can't deal with it.